I’ve been reflecting on the power of personal beliefs to create our realities. It’s not an understatement: what we believe about ourselves, about others, and the world are the lenses that filter and shape our world.
And here’s the craziest part – we didn’t choose most of these lenses, and yet we accept them as fact. We rarely pause to question these why we believe what we believe, allowing the lenses to quietly shape our daily experiences. Each and every one of us was born into and grew up within belief systems, and we don’t even realize it.
The good news is… once you realize your beliefs can change, endless possibilities open up for you. When you change what you believe, you begin to transform who you are.
It’s some of the most profound, powerful work we can do, so let’s dig deep into the biology of belief.
How Imprinting Beliefs Happens
Early beliefs are handed down and developed through our life experiences, forming our view of the world before many of us can even remember. Here are some of the main ways beliefs are passed to us and formed in our minds:
- Cultural Norms and Traditions: Beliefs about gender roles, success, education, and behavior are passed down through rituals, language, and customs, creating early mental frameworks.
- Home Environment: How strict, nurturing, or chaotic was your upbringing? Were you financially secure, or did economic fears loom large? The dynamics at home shape our early beliefs about life, success, relationships, and self-worth.
- Early Education: Teachers and early school experiences introduce children to new concepts, ideas, and belief systems. The structure of learning also influences our belief in authority, success, and intelligence.
- Observation and Imitation: Children observe adults and peers around them, adopting beliefs by mimicking behaviors and absorbing messages about how the world works.
- Media Exposure: Social media, television, movies and books shape our early understanding of the world and influence early beliefs about what is “normal” or aspirational.
- Peer Influence: “If your friends asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?” For many young people, at certain points of growth, the answer is… maybe? Because friends and social interactions during childhood and adolescence play a powerful role in impacting beliefs, especially in terms of social behavior, self-image, and values.
- Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Early rewards, praise, or punishments create associations that reinforce beliefs about good and bad behavior, success, failure, and how to navigate the world.
- Religious/Spiritual Instruction: Exposure to religious or spiritual teachings from a young age often leads to deeply ingrained beliefs about morality, life’s purpose, and the nature of the universe.
Beliefs Are Your Brain’s Programming
Our brains are computers, and beliefs act like the operating software for our lives, running in the background, dictating decisions and actions often without our conscious awareness.
Getting a bit nerdy for a moment – on the base of your brainstem is a bundle of nerves called the Reticular Activating System (RAS for short). The RAS acts like a Google search function for your brain, filtering out unnecessary information so the important stuff gets through. (It’s why you can hear your name even in a loud room or why you turn around when a random child says, “mom!”)
The RAS also seeks information that confirms what you believe. It doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction – it’s just operating based on your beliefs and listening to your thoughts. Every time we repeat a thought or action, we’re essentially laying down a neural pathway. It’s like creating a shortcut in our mind. This can be both a blessing and a curse.
Let’s take a look at how a deeply held belief can shape someone’s everyday life.
Meet Karen: A Cautionary Tale
Karen is a successful professional in her mid-40s. On the surface, she seems to have it all together, but internally, she’s constantly battling anxiety and fear. Karen’s core belief that “the world is a dangerous place” wasn’t consciously chosen; it developed from a combination of overprotective parents, sensationalized news stories, and a few scary childhood experiences. Let’s take a peek into how this belief shapes her daily life:
- Each Morning: Karen’s first thought is: “I better check the news to see what threats are out there today.” She spends 30 minutes scanning news sites, focusing on negative stories. The result? She starts each day feeling anxious and on edge.
- At Work: Karen thinks: “I can’t trust my coworkers. They might try to undermine me.” So she keeps to herself, rarely shares ideas in meetings. The result? She often misses opportunities for collaboration and advancement, further reinforcing her feeling that her coworkers are out to get her.
- Financially: Karen thinks “The economy could collapse at any moment.” So Karen hoards money, avoids investments and fun vacations, and misses financial opportunities. The result? Karen has limited financial growth, misses vacation opportunities with friends, and is increasingly stressed about her future.
- In her Relationships: Karen thinks “Getting close to people is risky. They might hurt me.” So Karen keeps relationships superficial, has trouble with intimacy, and is quick to assume the worst. The result? Karen has difficulty forming deep, meaningful connections and is lonely.
Karen’s core belief acts like a filter, coloring her perception of every situation. It influences her thoughts, which in turn drive her actions, creating a reality that confirms her belief. The world feels dangerous to Karen because her belief causes her to focus on potential threats and act in ways that limit her experiences.
Can you see how these core beliefs create our reality? The good news is, just as Karen’s belief in a dangerous world shapes her experiences, we too can reshape our reality by changing our core beliefs.
New Beliefs = New Pathways
So how do we change our beliefs? Many of these beliefs are so imprinted on our subconscious that we don’t even realize they are there. The only way to identify beliefs is to start noticing your thoughts and reactions throughout the day. Here are some techniques to get you started:
- Meditate: Just 5 minutes a day of quiet observation, notice your thoughts as if you were watching clouds pass by without attaching judgment or meaning. You’ll start to realize that many of your thoughts are on repeat, and a lot of them are negative.
- Get Curious: Without judgment, ask yourself, where did this belief come from? Is it still serving me?
- Be Open To Being Wrong: Once you open up your mind to the idea that your deeply held beliefs might be wrong, new ideas will start to float in.
- Question Everything: Channel your inner three-year-old and ask “why?” a lot. It’s surprisingly effective.
- Practice Cognitive Restructuring: This is a powerful technique used in cognitive-behavioral therapy. When you notice a negative thought, challenge it by asking:
- What evidence do I have for and against this thought?
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
- What would I tell a friend if they were in this situation?
- Seek Help: You didn’t create these beliefs on your own, so it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to release them on your own. Build a team (including mental health practitioners) who can be your partner in releasing beliefs that no longer serve you. I’m a huge fan of Internal Family Systems (known as IFS), which is a practice that allows you to identify the parts of yourself that hold these beliefs. Here’s a great podcast on the topic to get your started.
Remember, changing core beliefs is a process. Be patient and kind with yourself as you embark on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
Wrapping It Up
Friends, understanding our beliefs gives us access to the secret control panel of our lives. It’s not always easy – sometimes it’s downright uncomfortable – but it’s so worth it. As we unpack these beliefs, we’re not just spring cleaning our minds; we’re opening up space for new possibilities.
Remember, our beliefs create our reality. So, what reality do we want to create in this amazing chapter of our lives? The power is in our hands – or should I say, in our minds.
Let’s chat in the comments. What belief have you challenged lately? How did it change things for you?
xoxo Tracey
P.S. Want to hear more about the RAS and manifesting? Here you go.
P.P.S. Reminder! I’m a wellness coach and health fanatic, but not a doctor, and this blog is not meant to diagnose, treat, or provide specific medical advice. Chat with your medical provider about anything you find useful here.